vosreves

I used to dream of all sorts of things, of how I collected the stars and placed them in a small jar by my bedroom window, stories of how I saved the lives of the weak and tender, of how I could fly higher than aything I could throw up in the air. In those dreams I was always the saviour, the brave, strong and clever. I would wear the prettiest of dresses with collars of lace and buttons in green, I could run faster than eternity and even see further than forever.
In those dreams I was what I had always wanted to be.
But as the things I threw up towards the clouds and stars fell, being swallowed by gravity and its friends, I lost it all.
The powers I had held, the strenght I had felt, was all gone. Leaving me in the darkness, not as a saviour, but as one that needed to be saved.

Today the dreams I dream are different, nightmares has come to haunt me. And so they have since the day I lost my colors, my heart and my dreams. The dreams of being what I once were.

I was so very young, so very fragile and weak when I became one of the lonely.
Two cars and four pasangers. One crash. Three injured.
I should'nt have let them go out in that storm, not on a decembernight, not without me.
But so they did.
Two deaths and two survivors, not diveded equally between the two cars that night.
YOD32 SMR.
That was the night I lost it all. Hopes, dreams and parents.
I whispered someting to my past. The history of me listened carefully as I spoke the words "close your eyes and be still". The history of me, my past, closed its eyes and obeyed. Then I ran. I ran towards eternity, a forest with sharp branches painted in black where no one would ever find me.
That is where I've been ever since. I can't remember a thing from the life I once lived, apart from the calculations I made of that one night.

the night I lost my colors.